We can have more wishes and desires for our life than we have abilities, energy, or years on this earth. Which ones could be from God, and which are my own preferences or fantasies? If I have no musical ability, no matter how much I enjoy listening to Chopin, it is most unlikely that God, who made me, is asking me to become a concert pianist. If I feel ill or faint when I see blood, God is probably not inviting me to become a surgeon.
Then there’s the fact that God isn’t into giving us multiple choice tests. Discernment is always binary – as much as we prefer to keep all options open (just in case…) – a choice between two mutually exclusive good paths. Am I called to serve God and others, using my gift for numbers, as a teacher of mathematics or as a financial counselor? Am I called to serve God and others, using my gifts of compassion and in the area of science, as a researcher seeking cures, or as a hospice nurse?
But if we have discerned that our vocation is marriage, we are not asked to discern if we are called to marry John or Matthew. Here the binary discernment is: Am I called to marry John, or not. And the same goes for Matthew, or not.
Discernment is rooted in our concrete reality: who we are as we are, with our gifts, our limitations and the circumstances that shape our life as it is today. It is never theoretical, nor does it deal with “what ifs” or “maybes.” Discernment seeks the better of two, real choices, not the best or the ideal choice.