This continues a series of reflections on topics suggested by readers. With the rise of the modern emphasis on the individual, community has become misunderstood and devalued. What is community? Why is community? How does community happen?

Community blends valuing the individual with our human need for belonging. It’s not either one or the other; it’s both. We all need people with whom we are able to feel “at home.” Unfortunately this doesn’t always occur within our families. In community we come together, not because we are required to, but because we want to. And we want to, due to the fact that here we feel like we are needed, that we are important, that we can help other people to feel good and happy about themselves. In community we, all of us, and our lives, make a positive difference. It’s simply good to be together.

Just by showing up, being together, and sharing who we are – which is at the heart of any community – life is better. We may do things together, but this is secondary to getting to know, and to care about, one another. We learn to do things with, not for one another. What we choose to do flows from who we are and what we discover we are called to do. Each and every member helps us in some way to decide how we will develop together. If our community meetings become stale or boring, there can be a number of causes.

The first place to look is our context. What is going on in our lives right now? Are things peaceful and stable, or is our life tense and uncertain? It is very difficult to be inspired or creative if our world is turned upside down. Another area to examine is our attitude toward one another and toward our community. Are we open to continually discover each other, or have we stopped at a place where we feel comfortable? We are all constantly changing. We are all brand new each moment. Do we treasure each other enough to seek more deeply what we do not yet know? Or, it could just be that we’ve found it easier to plan community events without getting input from all the members.

Community is about personal relationships. We grow in our knowledge of each other’s preferences and needs through spending time and interacting with one another. Personal relationships thrive on honesty and truthfulness in sharing – always in the context of love. We can say we love someone, but if we cannot be truthful with them, this is not love, but a superficial emotion – sentimentality. If we feel we must be truthful with someone, but we express this truth in an uncaring or unloving way, this is using truth as a weapon. In both cases hurt and harm come to people.

The secret is to learn, through practice, how to say what needs to be said in a way that is both honest and caring. When we love someone we can do this, even when it is not very easy to do. When mutual love is the basis for our interrelating our community becomes stronger, and a strong community can weather harsh storms. As with so much in life, it begins with love.

We who are enlightened Christians give a high place to love among the possible responses to almost any person or situation. We believe that Jesus came among us, called us to follow him, and gave all his life-energy out of love. He taught us that the very essence of God is love. Jesus commands us to “Love one another, as I have loved you.” Yet there seem to be countless times when love appears to fall short of what is truly needed. We sense that our love doesn’t change things, or make them better. This can feel paralyzing.

Love, in classic thought, is defined as desiring what is truly good for someone, and doing what one can to bring that good about. A wise person used to say, “If someone has a toothache, it does little good to say, ‘I hope you feel better soon,’ or ‘I’ll pray your tooth is healed.’ You can love that person a lot, but if you don’t do what you can to make sure they get to a good dentist, have you really helped them?” The question is, “What, concretely, do they need to be well, or free, or more fully alive?”

The parable in the Gospel of Luke known as the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) pictures a victim of assault and robbery on the busy highway between Jerusalem and Jericho – a “high-crime” area. Two professional clergy-types, good people, see the bleeding victim, and choose to pass on by without so much as a, “God bless you,” or “I’ll pray for you.” They have God’s business to attend to, and besides, coming in contact with blood would make them ritually unclean, not to mention that it might stain their holy robes.

Along comes a businessman, who happens to be a Samaritan (hated enemy of those who claimed to be true and faithful Israelites), who sees the wounded person, is filled with compassion, stops and cares for him. The Samaritan cleans and bandages the man’s wounds, puts him on his donkey, takes him to a nearby inn, spends the day treating him, and gives the innkeeper money to see to the stranger’s needs.

This is love. It doesn’t matter that the victim is unknown to the Samaritan. The Samaritan sees, acts, and stays with the other. He does what is needed, going above and beyond simple first-aid. Even though he had business elsewhere! 

There are innumerable situations and persons in need in our world today. No one can do all that is required to help or improve them. But this is not an excuse to do nothing. We can care, and pray, and do what little we can in our tiny corner of the planet. If we cry out to God to make things better, we need to be prepared for God to call us to do something (but not everything) ourselves. Love starts with seeing, and flows into action.