It has to be this way, because I want it to be this way! This is my life and I’ve decided what’s right, what’s possible, what’s good for me! I’ve even asked God, (or told God), to agree with me 100%. I’ve become so accustomed to, and comfortable with, the parameters of my life that any other way of living cannot be what God wants for me. I would need to change. And that’s very upsetting for me. Besides, I have consulted all kinds of authorities, who just happen to agree with me and with what I think and want.

Does this sound extreme? Maybe. Maybe not. When my plans are disrupted, when how I expected my day, or my life to go, when what I really wanted (and decided was necessary), doesn’t happen, how do I react? Do I feel this change, unexpected occurrence, malfunction as a personal attack or affront? There’s nothing personal about a car that won’t start, a salesperson who’s having a bad day, an accident, technology that begins to do strange and unreliable things. Life happens, and not according to my agenda or my willing it to be one way or another.

If I’ve been deeply wounded in my ability to trust anyone, if I’ve felt it necessary for my well-being, or even survival, that I can only rely on myself, it can seem almost impossible to hand my life over to anyone else. Not even to God! Sure, I can give God a place in my life, but I may not be able to let go of this illusion that I can and must control my time, activities, and access to my heart. God, in effect, comes only after me and my vigilance, which I have unconsciously convinced myself alone keeps me safe.

If God is God, and not some more or less important component in my life, peace and happiness only come when I give up all claims to being a part-time god, imagining that I run the show, or any part of it. So many holy people have learned and taught that surrender to God, putting God as number one in my life, is the only way to wholeness. Is this easy? No! If I have experienced trauma, even multiple “little traumas,” my life might have become a path of fearful avoidance. Caution is good and necessary to help remain safe and well, but it also can become a substitute for being fully alive.

And it’s not just wounding that can displace God in my life. If those I have relied on to teach and to guide me have presented me with a set way of seeing, believing, and behaving, this indoctrination can also take over for God as my sole authority and can replace the will of God, which is revealed anew in each and every moment. Wasn’t this what Jesus confronted the religious teachers and authorities of his day about? They had put the Law, which is a very beautiful gift from God, above God. The love, mercy and compassion of God cannot be limited, or enclosed, or carved in stone. If I am so caught up in, or because of, what has been, I will certainly miss what is God inviting me to, here and now. Hopefully I can choose life on God’s terms.

 

In the gospel readings chosen for liturgy this past week were a number of parables. The thirteenth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew is a collection of some of Jesus’ well-known teaching stories. Before looking at one of these parables, it helps to remember how the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures came into being, and what is their main purpose. The First and Second Testaments are theological documents, grounded in the faith of their authors, editors, and communities, meant to help us to learn something about who God is and how God does. The Scriptures invite us to grow in understanding of, and in living out, what God desires of us, in the way God desires us to live – with God’s help, of course.

The Bible (the word in Greek means a library), an amazing collection of books, is not meant to be taken literally. The individual books were written, rewritten and compiled across decades, and in some cases, across centuries.These writings are not primarily history, science, biography, geography, even though they have elements of all these in them. They are God-inspired documents composed by human beings at particular moments in time. Our Scriptures come with all the gifts and limitations of insight, knowledge, experience available to the era, or eras, in which they came to be in the form we have them today.

 Jesus used parables as a teaching tool. They are open-ended bits of wisdom drawn from nature and from human experience. Because they are open-ended, they can seem to end very abruptly, leaving us to reflect on and to wonder about God and our life. The impact or lesson of a parable is meant to reach, to touch, to move each individual just where they are at the time they hear the story. Unlike fables, parables don’t come with a moral, or stated conclusion. Unlike allegories, parables don’t give symbolic meaning to every aspect or detail of the story. Any moralizing, allegorizing or conclusions were added at a later time in the process.

Back to the Gospel of Matthew’s “Parabolic Discourse.” The kingdom of heaven is like a net cast into the sea. It took in fish of every size and kind. When it was full they dragged the net ashore, sat down, put the good fish into buckets, but threw the less than good fish away” (Matthew 13:47-48). This is a story taken from the lives of those who worked in the fishing industry on the Sea of Galilee. It’s about recognizing and sorting. Because of the apocalyptic ending added later (Matthew 13:49-50), the focus of this parable has been turned toward judgement at the end of days. The annexed conclusion draws us away from Jesus’ original meaning.

The original parable directs our attention to how important it is to sift through, to see, to recognize, and to choose what is truly good. Jesus trusts that we, if we are paying attention and with practice, like those Galilean fisherfolk, can sort out what is good from what is unloving, hurtful, dishonest, self-serving… This is what discernment is about. Yes, we can fool ourselves into believing that what is good is bad, or what is bad is really good. Usually we do this when we are feeling rushed or afraid. That’s why we need to “sit down” and focus on the choice at hand in order to recognize and to choose the good before us and discard all that is not from God.